the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
