just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
