Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
