Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
