A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You ruined the universe
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
