just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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