what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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