my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
