And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
