redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
