I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's official drugs can't kill me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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