i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
