if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
