I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
