I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
