I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
