worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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