she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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