Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
