Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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