I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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