if you like me you must not know who I am
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
