the condom got lost in my hair
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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