just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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