We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
