I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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