She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need a beard to bite.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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