craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
