I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
a search helicopter?!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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