you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
