Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
