Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
