Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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