This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
