dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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