You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My vagina just clenched in fear
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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