Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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