Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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