On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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