I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
