Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
is it fun? or sober?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
