accomplished twins. life is a go
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
