Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
