I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
