"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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