She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
