I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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