I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
