dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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