Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Semen is not good for contacts.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
