Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
