that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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