i just made my gag reflex go away.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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